“If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.”

“If the first Christians – as described in the first chapters of the Book of Acts – were to rule the country, the United States of America would embrace socialism or perhaps even communism.”

“Honesty is the first chapter of the book wisdom.”

“Every person is a book, each year a chapter”

“In the many years in which he had toiled to bring civilization to different parts of Africa he had learned a number of things. One of them was that a District Commissioner must never attend to such undignified details as cutting a hanged man from the tree. Such attention would give the natives a poor opinion of him. In the book which he planned to write he would stress that point. […] One could almost write a whole chapter on him. Perhaps not a whole chapter but a reasonable paragraph, at any rate.”

“Marauders of Gor, chapter 17, Daw Books 1976”

“Most of the chapters of this book were written while the events described were taking place. Reading the manuscript, I notice there's a lack of continuity between the chapters. One thing doesn't lead to another. This is because, in the 2016 presidential campaign, as far as I can tell, one thing didn't lead to another…. if my book lacks a coherent narrative it's because I couldn't find one.”

“I cut my pubes last night. My hairs were getting longer than my penis.”

“Usually, when people get to the end of a chapter, they close the book and go to sleep. I deliberately write a book so when the reader gets to the end of the chapter, he or she must turn one more page.”

“This book had two authors, and they were both the same person.”