“I never waited for my Irish Cream coffee to be the right temperature, with a storm happening outside and my fireplace crackling… I wrote every day, at home, in the office, whether I felt like it or not, I just did it.”

“I like my women like I like my coffee… covered in beeees!”

“Every time I look into his eyes I just want to take the ice cream or whatever I've got in my hand and rub it into his face. That's how much I like him.”

“Because never in my entire childhood did I feel like a child. I felt like a person all along―the same person that I am today.”

“My boss treated me like a slave and I felt completely degraded. Then, just once, I did a terrible thing - I peed in his tea! Watching him drink it, my grudges completely dissolved - I never minded making tea for him again.”

“But if something did happen, it happened. Whether it's right or wrong. I accept everything that happens, and that's how I became the person I am now.”

“I drive from home to my office, a small apartment on the river in the center of Dublin. I write there from 9 a. m. to lunchtime, I take a simple lunch—bread, cheese, nice cup of tea—work until 6 p. m., then home for dinner. Viewed from outside my head it is a singularly dull and uneventful day, but inside my head … aaah.”

“Go bang the window and see what happens -- just test it. See that? Trudeau had the office bulletproofed. I always contended that the reason he did it was because the American embassy is right outside. They probably wanted to shoot him.”

“I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?”

“If I waited till I felt like writing, I'd never write at all.”