As quoted in TIME (1984), also in Meditations for Parents Who Do Too Much (1993) by Jonathon Lazear and Wendy Lazear, p. 22
“You can't stay mad at someone who makes you laugh.”
“If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.”
“If you're going to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh; otherwise they'll kill you.”
Credited to Shaw in the lead in to the mockumentary C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America (2004) and other recent works, but this or slight variants of it are also sometimes attributed to W. C. Fields, Charlie Chaplin, and Oscar Wilde. It might possibly be derived from Shaw's statement in John Bull's Other Island (1907): "My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world."
Another possibility is that it is derived from Shaw's characteristic of Mark Twain: "He has to put things in such a way as to make people who would otherwise hang him believe he is joking."
Variants:
If you are going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you.
If you're going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you.
Disputed
"Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own"
Lyrics, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb (2004)
“You can't make people love you but you can make them fear you”
Real Real Gone
Song lyrics, Enlightenment (1990)
“You can present the material, but you can't make me care.”
Source: Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat: A Calvin and Hobbes Collection
