“When you're young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you're laughing again.”

“I always say to young people, you can have the best script, be the funniest man, but if they don't laugh — you're not a comedian.”

“Never laugh when you're being sarcastic. It will ruin the effect. If you feel the uncontrollable need to giggle, wait until your boss says something hilarious, such as, "Is this only Wednesday? It feels like Friday already!"”

“I know what good morals are,
but you're supposed to disregard good morals when you're living in a crazy, bad world. If you're in hell, how can you live like an angel? You're surrounded by devils, trying to be an angel? That's like suicide.”

“One day you're young with all your fine plans for the future. The next you're in the future and it doesn't look at all the way you thought it would.”

“This is how it works —
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath.”

“When you're alone you don't do much laughing.”

“At least when you're young you're also stupid.”

“Life is a drink and you get drunk when you're young.”

“You're only young once, but you can be immature forever”