“The happiness of a married man depends on the people he has not married.”

“He is dreadfully married. "He's the most married man I ever saw in my life."”

“When a man has seen the woman whom he would have chosen if he had intended to marry speedily, his remaining a bachelor will usually depend on her resolution rather than on his.”

“A man may be a fool and not know it — but not if he is married.”

“When a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy.”

“A married man has only one duty towards his wife in order to make her happy, and that is to ensure that she is constantly pregnant, and with a child in her arms.”

“When a Man has Married a Wife
He finds out whether
Her Knees & elbows are only
glued together.”

“When a man marries his mistress, he creates a job vacancy.”

“No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.”

“There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.”