“A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.”

Last update Dec. 15, 2022. History

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Winston S. Churchill 601
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom 1874–1965

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“Bessie Braddock: Winston, you are drunk, and what's more you are disgustingly drunk.
Churchill: Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and, what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.”

Winston S. Churchill (1874–1965) Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

Churchill's bodyguard Ronald Golding claims that he witnessed Churchill say this in 1946 to Labour MP w:Bessie Braddock. Golding's claim, made to Churchill expert Richard Langworth, was reported in Langworth's collection Churchill by himself https://books.google.com/books?id=vbsU21fEhLAC&q=braddock#v=snippet&q=braddock&f=false. Langworth adds that Churchill's daughter Lady Soames doubted the story.
The basic idea of this joke was published as early as 1882, although it was used to ridicule the critic's foolishness rather than ugliness: " ... are you Mr. —-, the greatest fool in the House of Commons?" "You are drunk," exclaimed the M.P. "Even if I am,” replied the man, "I have the advantage over you – I shall be sober to-morrow, whereas you will remain the fool you are to-day." (1882 August 05, The Daily Republican-Sentinel, His Advantage, p. 5, col. 2, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, cited by Quote Investigator http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/08/17/sober-tomorrow/).
Reported as false by George Thayer, The Washington Post (April 27, 1971), p. B6.
Often given in a shorter form, e.g " Winston, you are drunk." "Indeed, Madam, and you are ugly—but tomorrow I'll be sober."
Churchill's interlocutor may be given as Lady Astor rather than Braddock.
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