“If I can't powerwash a cat, I'm out.”

“You have no control over your cat! You can't say to your cat, "Cat, heel! Stay! Wait! Lie down! Roll over!" 'Cause the cat's just gonna be sitting there going, "Interesting words … have you finished?" While you're shouting all this to your cat, your dog's next to you, going … [mimes obeying all commands] "What the hell are you doing? I'm talking to the cat!"”

“Dying - you can't do that to a cat.”

“For all the accomplishments of molecular biology, we still can't tell a live cat from a dead cat.”

“I have to spring a cat out of Rumelt Animal Shelter. Think of it as a prison break."

It does the trick. He laughs. "Whose cat?"

"My cat. What do you think? That I break out the cats of strangers?"

"Let me guess, she was framed. She's innocent.”

“I'm an animal lover and my two cats are my world, so I don't wear any fur. I don't support the fur industry. And I'm not really into animal prints either, I just don't like the idea of me saying "I'm wearing a big cat today."”

“I hope they all go out like Kilkenny cats…”

“I'm hostile to men, I'm hostile to women, I'm hostile to cats, to poor cockroaches, I'm afraid of horses.”

“"Was it weird hearing from Jace? I mean, since you found out…"
"Yes? Since I found out what? That he's a killer transvestite who molests cats?"
"No wonder that cat of his hates everyone."”

“I'm going to take you out of here… I'm going to take you home, to the world where you belong, where cats with bent tails live, and there are little backyards, and alarm clocks ring in the morning.”