“Two men say they’re Jesus, one of them must be wrong.”

“Montefiore's impression of Jesus was wrong. Jesus loved the Pharisees, although He denounced them publicly. And I love the Communists, as well as their tools in the Church, although I denounce them.”

“The first thing you’ve got to do is tell yourself that the shitheads are wrong…Not just a little bit wrong, but irremediably, absolutely, and endemically wrong. Nothing you can say or do will stop their being wrong. They’re damned to eternal wrongness, and that’s God’s will.”

“People say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I think they’re wrong: Proximity makes the heart grow fonder.”

“I approve of all you say, gentlemen. The fleet's needs are many and urgent. One, however, must take precedence. This item the men need before all, and we must get it for them without fail and without deferral. We must get the men a victory.”

“Wisely humble people are never afraid to admit they were wrong. When they do it, it’s like saying they’re wiser today than they were yesterday.”

“He is her glory. Any woman could say it. For every one of them, God is in her child. Mothers of great men must have been familiar with this feeling, but then, all women are mothers of great men -- it isn't their fault if life disappoints them later.”

“Men usually remain unmarried for three reasons: either because they cannot afford to marry or there are no girls to marry (neither of these factors need have deterred Jesus); or because it is inexpedient for them to marry in the light of their vocation (we have already ruled this out during the ‘hidden years’ of Jesus’ life); or because they are homosexual in nature, in as much as women hold no special attraction for them. The homosexual explanation is one which me must not ignore.”

“If two opposite theories are propagated one will be wrong.”

“Men think for themselves when they’re men.”