“This cute woman walked into my favorite bar in Gavella, Croatia, about 5 years ago. When I saw her I said "Uh-oh, that's it". But I was shy, so I didn't ask her out until a couple of days later, when I finally found someone who knew her phone number.”

“One day, when I am a braver man, I will tell her these things, and then I will look her in the eye tell her I love her and ask her to be only mine. But until that day, we're just friends.”

“That's when I asked her where was that actress
She said "That was somebody else"
And then I asked her why she looked so happy now
She said "I finally like myself, at last I like myself."”

“I loved King Kong with Fay Wray. That was one of my favorite pictures. I admired Fay. I thought Fay Wray was so beautiful. I remember later I went to a party and she was there and I sat at her feet and said, 'You were my favorite actress', and I told her how much I worshiped her.”

“Oh, man. You’re him. The cute and brooding vampire boyfriend.”
“She said I was cute and brooding?” I asked. “Never mind. Why can’t I reach her? Where is she?”

“I was workin' part-time in a 5-and-dime.
My boss was Mr. McGee, huh.
He told me several… times
That he didn't like my kind cuz I was a bit 2 leisurely.
It seems that I was busy doin' somethin' close 2 nothin',
But different than the day before
That's when I saw her, ooh, I saw her,
She walked in through the out door …out door.She wore a raspberry beret
The kind U find in a second hand store
Raspberry beret
And if it was warm she wouldn't wear much more
Raspberry beret
I think I love her.”

“A couple of years later I would marry her for a little while.”

“I met a girl who works at the Double Tree front desk, she gave me her phone number. It's zero. I tried to call her from here and some other woman answered. I said "You sound older!"”

“She is not fair to outward view
As many maidens be;
Her loveliness I never knew
Until she smiled on me:
Oh! then I saw her eye was bright,
A well of love, a spring of light.”

“When a woman grabs my braids and says "How cute!" I crab her breast and say "How cute!" She never touches me again!”