“I love Slim-Jims so much, I once called their hotline. I swear to God. I told them, "I got your next billion-dollar idea." And the lady on the other end goes, "Oh, do tell." I said, "Alright. Men love beer and Slim-Jims. So, what you need to do, is drill a hole in the middle of that Slim-Jim… so we can suck beer through it and take a bite of Slim Jim! [Audience cheers] Yeah. GENIUS!… She hung up on me.”

“Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.”

“The life I lead is mighty slim pickens, there ain't much call for stompin' on chickens”

“I see. Is Jim with you now?”
“Yes, he is. We’re having rough sex. You’re interrupting.
“What are you doing here?”
“Looking for Jim in your bed.”
“He isn’t here.”
“I see that.”

“I stuck my dick in this game like a rapist. They call me 'Slim Roethlisberger!'”

“Jim "The Waco Kid": My name is Jim, most people call me… Jim.”

“Jim Acheson, our designer, told me I looked like his Auntie Wyn and I have never forgotten it. I wondered if it was the way I walked or wore my hat, but Jim just said that I had some indefinable air of an aunt. It was then I began to hope that one day I might play Lady Bracknell.”

“She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing…
"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty."
Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.”

“There was a heavy, dark pause of vast significance.
Which Jim broke by flashing his hands and belting out, “Booga-wooga!”
At least Eddie laughed. Adrian flipped Jim the bird and headed to the fridge for another beer.”

“Waiting silently is the hardest thing of all. I was dying to talk to Jim and about Jim. But the things that we feel most deeply we ought to learn to be silent about, at least until we have talked them over thoroughly with God.”