“(Sylvia) Rita, I want to have my cake and eat it too. (Rita) Sorry, Ma, it only works for Republicans.”

— Nicole Hollander

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 88

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Nicole Hollander 103

Cartoonist 1939

Nicole Hollander (1939) Cartoonist

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 108

“Wanting more. Having your cake or eating your cake are fine. Not even wanting cake is where you get fucked.”

Doug Stanhope (1967) American stand-up comedian, actor, and author

When asked, "What would constitute 'complete happiness' to Doug Stanhope (you)?" Doug Stanhope interview http://markprindle.com/stanhope-i.htm, MarkPrindle.com, 2007
Miscellaneous

“You can have your cake and eat it, too.”

Bob Dylan (1941) American singer-songwriter, musician, author, and artist

Song lyrics, Nashville Skyline (1969), Lay Lady Lay

“But of course you can have your cake and eat it, too - if you decide to to bake a second cake. And you may well find that baking two cakes does not take twice the work of baking one.”

Robert Kuttner (1943) American journalist

Source: The Economic Illusion (1984), Chapter 1, Equality and Efficiency, p. 14

“5881. You can't eat your Cake, and have it too.”

Thomas Fuller (writer) (1654–1734) British physician, preacher, and intellectual

Compare Poor Richard's Almanack (1744) : The same man cannot be both Friend and Flatterer.
Introductio ad prudentiam: Part II (1727), Gnomologia (1732)
Variant: 2592. I can't be your Friend, and your Flatterer too.