“[When asked if he used to go onstage dressed as Jesus with a watercolour beard]”

— Noel Fielding

That is true. I used to dress up as Jesus. That’s what I first did onstage. I built a cross as well, a fuck-off big cross about as big as that wall, and I used to get on it at the start of a gig. And I’d have this really sad music and eerie lights, and then the music would just go ‘vvvstp’ and turn into Chas ‘N’ Dave, and I’d start dancing [...] And I used to have a water-pistol as well. So if anyone heckled, I’d just squirt ‘em until they were soaked. ‘Don’t Fuck With The Lord’. I used to tell normal jokes, and make no reference to the fact that I was Jesus. I’m over that stage of my life now. I couldn’t grow a beard though so I had to paint one on, and it used to melt under the lights. So by the end of the gig I used to look like a deranged Jesus with brown juice going down his neck. It was a bit frightening for the children.
HermAphroditeZine, Autumn 1999

Adopted from Wikiquote. Last update June 3, 2021. History

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Noel Fielding 15

British comedian and actor 1973

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