“(on soccer) Americans don't need a metaphor for war. We have war.”

— John Hodgman , book The Areas of My Expertise

June 8, 2006
The Areas of My Expertise (2005), Appearances on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

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John Hodgman 20

American humorist 1971

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That someone could come out of the last few years believing that Teddy Roosevelt's American imperialism is a model for the future is a little hard for me to understand.