“Yeah, this comedy is all a part of my “Get Rich Slow” scheme… and it’s working.”

“Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.”

“The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.”

“It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.”

“It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.”

“If you understand comedy, you understand life. Drama, death, tragedy – everybody has these. But with humour you've got all these, and the antidote. You have found the answer. It doesn't follow that because you are a good comedy writer, you're a happy fellow. I've got one of the most miserable faces in the world. I am only happy when I am working. If I'm not working, I get screwed up because my time is going, my life is slipping by.”

“You see, most people with multiple personalities get therapy. I get my own HBO comedy series!”

“It's like in most parts of America, where there was industry and there is no longer; there is cynicism mixed with sarcasm and some optimism. That's how my background influenced my comedy.”

“I don’t think I’d have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago […] I’d have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land […] With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.”

“My favorite comedy is comedy where nothing is achieved and there is no point.”