“I've never known anyone more ill equipped for happiness. He wouldn't know what to do with it.”

“Joe Louis is the hardest puncher that I've ever seen… He's a good man. Anyone who plans on beating him had better know what they're doing.”

“I don't love you. But I see the value of you, the incredible worth of you, more than anyone I've ever known.”

“About George W. Bush: "He came ill-equipped for the job and has failed to master it."”

“Happy endings are all I can do. I wouldn't know how to write anything else.”

“I've always been happy with you," he said. "But I never thought I deserved it."
"And now you do?"
"And now the feeling's gone," he said. "All I know is that I love you and for the first time, that's good enough.”

“Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.”

“Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that.”

“I don’t know what to do,” he said. “No harm in that. I’ve never known what to do,” said Rincewind with hollow cheerfulness. “Been completely at a loss my whole life.” He hesitated. “I think it’s called being human, or something.”

“My prize, my pleasure and pain, my endless desire. I've never know anyone like you.”