“I ain’t drunk,” Wayne said, sniffling. “I’m investigatin’ alternative states of sobriety.”

“I need wings," said Total, still sniffling. "I need mywings. Then things like that wouldn't happen."
Yeah, that was all I needed. Atalking mutant dog.”

“Beware the deadly fumes of that insane elation
Which rises from the cup of mad impiety,
And go, get drunk with that divine intoxication
Which is more sober far than all sobriety.”

“If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk," I said to Ranger.
"Not drunk," Ranger said. "Just relaxed and naked.”

“A subject may be said to be in such a state if he (it) wants something and has unequally efficient alternative ways of trying to get it.”

“A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.”

“As I have already said, there are but two alternatives, the way to Rome, and the way to Atheism.”

“I’m scared I’m going to spend the rest of my life in a state of yearning, regardless of where I am.”

“There's nothing more aggravating in the world than the midnight sniffling of the person you've decided to hate.”

“I can’t listen to you. I can’t listen to your voice. It’s as though I’d drunk a bottle of anise and fallen asleep wrapped in a quilt of roses. It pulls me along – and I know I’m drowning – but I go on down.”