“You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble.”

“Some days you go to your office and you're the only one who shows up, none of the characters show up, and you sit there by yourself, feeling like an idiot. And some days everybody shows up ready to work. You have to show up at your office every day. If an idea comes by, you want to be there to get it in.”

“Show me a guy who is afraid of looking bad and I’ll show you a guy you can beat every time.”

“Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.”

“I can show you who's the man
Let me show you with my hands
I just want you close to me
I'll get you wet
Just wait and see”

“Show me a person who doesn't have a past and I'll show you a boring bastard”

“Show me an alley, show me a train
Show me a hobo who sleeps out in the rain
And I'll show you a young man
With many reasons why
There but for fortune, go you or I”

“Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I'll show you someone who has never achieved much.”

“Let me tell you this: They shut me down on radio, that's fine, I'll do TV. They shut me down on TV, that's fine, I'll do Internet. They shut me down on the Internet, that's fine, I'll do stage shows. They shut me down on stage shows, that's fine, I'll go door to door. You will have to shoot me in the head. We are not stopping.”

“Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock.”