“I went to a general store, but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.”

Last update June 3, 2021. History

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Steven Wright 178
American actor and author 1955

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“I went to the store and bought eight apples. The clerk said, "Do you want me to put them in a bag?" I said, "Oh no, man, I juggle. But I can only juggle eight. If I'm ever here buying nine apples, bag 'em up!"”

Mitch Hedberg (1968–2005) American stand-up comedian

Just For Laughs gala https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-zFQ9fOTSU&feature=youtu.be&t=3m15s, Hedberg's final Just For Laughs performance (2004)

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“I went left, he went left. I went right, he went right. I went left again, he went to buy a hot dog.”

Zlatan Ibrahimović (1981) Swedish association football player

on being marked by Liverpool defender Stephane Henchoz (Kuper, 2011).
Attributed

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“If a fraction of what they said about me was true -- a fraction -- I wouldn’t be here. I’ve not only not been convicted of anything, I’ve never been indicted for anything. Now I think that’s where you finally have to look at the, quote, critics and say, "Hey. Put up or shut up. Let’s see some evidence."”

David Miscavige (1960) leader of the Church of Scientology

On statements made about him by critics — [Thomas C., Tobin, The Man Behind Scientology, http://www.sptimes.com/TampaBay/102598/scientologypart1.html, St. Petersburg Times, October 25, 1998, 2010-07-03].

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