“A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.”

“To judge from the Internet postings that people have sent me, probably most of what you learned [about me] was nonsense.”

“Environmentalists are much too concerned with planet Earth. Their geocentric attitude prevents them from seeing the greater picture – lots of planets are much worse off than Earth is.”

“Contrary to the rumours that you've heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father, Jor-El, to save the planet Earth.”

“Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other's picture.”

“We'll play jacks and Uno cards
I'll be your best friend
And you'll be mine”

“People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.”

“What once sprung from earth sinks back into the earth.”
Cedit item retro, de terra quod fuit ante, in terras.

“"Wish You Were Here" on Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd, 1975)”

“I wish you were here
I wish you were here
To see what I could see
To hear
And I wish you were here”