“I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You”

“I ain't saying you're a liar, because that wouldn't be polite. But I'll tell you this, ma'am. If I loved liars, I'd hug you to death.”

Jim Thompson book Pop. 1280

“If I hadn't met you, I'd certainly have fallen in love with him.”

Milan Kundera (1929–2023) Czech author of Czech and French literature

“I'd tell you all you want and more, if the sounds I made could be what you hear”

David Foster Wallace (1962–2008) American fiction writer and essayist

“I love the life you've always made so sweet for me and I'd regret it if I had to die.'
'Do you mean to say that if I left you---'
'I'd die, yes.'
'Then you love me?”

Alexandre Dumas book The Count of Monte Cristo

“If I had amnesia, I'd be almost like other men. Perhaps I'd even be able to love you.”

Simone de Beauvoir (1908–1986) French writer, intellectual, existentialist philosopher, political activist, feminist, and social theorist

“Tariq tucked the gun into the waist of his denims. Then he said a thing both lovely and terrible. "For you," he said. "I'd kill with it for you, Laila.”

Khaled Hosseini book A Thousand Splendid Suns

“I'd like to know that your love
Is love I can be sure of,
So tell me now and I won't ask again,
Will you still love me tomorrow?”

Carole King (1942) Nasa

“Boy I tell you what, if I were a girl, I'd never shave! I'd look like I'm smuggling around Chewbacca in my underbritches!”

Larry the Cable Guy (1963) American stand-up comedian, actor, country music artist, voice artist

“I'd kick it, and I'd say 'You knob-head'. - Karl tells Ricky his response to being poisoned by an octopus.”

Karl Pilkington (1972) English television personality, social commentator, actor, author and former radio producer