“I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You”

“I ain't saying you're a liar, because that wouldn't be polite. But I'll tell you this, ma'am. If I loved liars, I'd hug you to death.”

“If I hadn't met you, I'd certainly have fallen in love with him.”

“I'd tell you all you want and more, if the sounds I made could be what you hear”

“I love the life you've always made so sweet for me and I'd regret it if I had to die.'
'Do you mean to say that if I left you---'
'I'd die, yes.'
'Then you love me?”

“If I had amnesia, I'd be almost like other men. Perhaps I'd even be able to love you.”

“Tariq tucked the gun into the waist of his denims. Then he said a thing both lovely and terrible. "For you," he said. "I'd kill with it for you, Laila.”

“I'd like to know that your love
Is love I can be sure of,
So tell me now and I won't ask again,
Will you still love me tomorrow?”

“Boy I tell you what, if I were a girl, I'd never shave! I'd look like I'm smuggling around Chewbacca in my underbritches!”

“I'd kick it, and I'd say 'You knob-head'. - Karl tells Ricky his response to being poisoned by an octopus.”