“You know that things aren't going well for you when you can't even tell people the simplest fact about your life, just because they'll presume you're asking them to feel sorry for you.”

— Nick Hornby

Last update June 3, 2021. History

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Nick Hornby 110

English novelist 1957

David Gemmell book Legend

... that's what innkeepers are for.
Source: Drenai series, Legend, Pt 1: Against the Horde, Ch. 1

“Well, if there's no 'war' that begins, but you say 'war begins', no one's going to buy your newspaper the next day because they'll be on to the fact that you don't know what you're talking about.”

Sam Donaldson (1934) American journalist

As quoted in "Respek" http://www.listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=m1_FAsefZ6o (18 July 2004), Da Ali G Show.
2000s

“Sometimes, when you don't ask questions, it's not because you are afraid that someone will lie to your face. It's because you're afraid they'll tell you the truth.”

Jodi Picoult (1966) Author

“You wanna show them that you're really not scared,
You're playing with your life, this ain't no truth or dare,
They'll kick you then they'll beat you then they'll tell you it's fair,
So beat it.”

Michael Jackson (1958–2009) American singer, songwriter and dancer

Beat It
Thriller (1982)

“A lot of people who are in the movie business don't really know much about movies, and they certainly don't know movie history. You have to even find a code when you're talking to these people—you can't use the references that you would use when talking to somebody who knows movie history. When you go in to pitch something, it depends what you invoke. You can't invoke anything really before 1980 with these people because they don't know what you're talking about. It's limiting. They get annoyed. They get offended that you are somehow trying to expose the fact that they don't know things, and make them feel inadequate. Which is of course not the point, or why you do it.”

Joe Dante (1946) film director

"Fun, Yes, But By No Means Civilized": Interview with Joe Dante (Part 2) https://mubi.com/notebook/posts/fun-yes-but-by-no-means-civilized-interview-with-joe-dante-part-2 (July 8 2009)

“Just because things don't work out, it doesn't mean there aren't other people you can't love. Love is too big a thing for you to go without it in life.”

Richelle Mead (1976) American writer

Source: Succubus Heat

“If you're going to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh; otherwise they'll kill you.”

George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish playwright

Credited to Shaw in the lead in to the mockumentary C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America (2004) and other recent works, but this or slight variants of it are also sometimes attributed to W. C. Fields, Charlie Chaplin, and Oscar Wilde. It might possibly be derived from Shaw's statement in John Bull's Other Island (1907): "My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world."
Another possibility is that it is derived from Shaw's characteristic of Mark Twain: "He has to put things in such a way as to make people who would otherwise hang him believe he is joking."
Variants:
If you are going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you.
If you're going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you.
Disputed

“Is someone you know anorexic? A good joke would be to tell them that they're fat. They'll laugh because anorexic people aren't fat. HAHAH”

Maddox (1978) American internet writer

Pranks to try on people in the hospital! http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=jokes
The Best Page in the Universe

“Life is short. People are not easy to know. They're not easy to know, so if you don't tell them how you feel, you're not going to get anywhere, I feel.”

Nina Simone (1933–2003) American singer, songwriter, pianist, arranger, and civil rights activist

“Tell him yes. Even if you are dying of fear, even if you are sorry later, because whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life if you say no.”

Gabriel García Márquez book Love in the Time of Cholera

Source: Love in the Time of Cholera

“You know that things aren't going well for you when you can't even tell people the simplest fact about your life, just because they'll presume you're asking them to feel sorry for you.”

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Nick Hornby 110

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