“Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.”

“I said, `Now, wait a minute, so you're telling me you want this fish who lives in a fish tank in a dentist's office to be a fictitious character from an NBC sitcom?' I mean, it just doesn't make any sense to me. It's like, why would you want Mickey Mouse to be the lead in the `House of the Seven Gables' or something.”

“A sixty - eight, he wants you to go down on him but he won't return the favor. It would be sixty-nine but he owes you one.”

“The job of the first eight pages is not to have the reader want to throw the book at theduring the first eight pages.”

“I've been close to Bette Davis for thirty-eight years - and I have the cigarette burns to prove it.”

““In the year 817, eight hundred and seventeen Hijri, he resolved to march with intent of jihad against the unbelievers of Girnar, a famous fort in Sorath. Raja Mandalik fought with him but was defeated and took refuge in the fort. It is narrated that even though that land (region) this time did not get complete brightness form the lamp of Islam, yet the Sultan subdued the fort of Junagadh situated near the foot of Girnar mountain. Most of the Zamindars of Sorath became submissive and obedient to him and agreed to pay tribute. After that, he demolished the temple of Sayyedpur in the month of Jamadi I of the year 818, eight hundred and eighteen Hijri… In the year 823, eight hundred and twenty-three Hijri, he attended to the establishment of administrative control over his dominion. He suppressed refractoriness wherever it was found. He demolished temples and constructed masjids in their places…”364”

“I totally animal-oriented. I've got nine dogs, eight birds, turtles, fish -- and I had wallabies at one point.”

“[Jem] looked from Will to Tessa and raised his silvery eyebrows. "A miracle," he said. "You got him to speak."
"Just to shout at me, really," said Tessa. "Not quite loaves and fishes.”

“Chinese tend to love moderation because of their temperament. If you said, for example, the room is so dim that there is an window to be installed here, no one would agree. But if you intended to dismantle the roof, they would come to mediate and therefore would agree to install a window.”

“… if God took the trouble to tell us eight hundred times to be glad and rejoice, He must want us to do it—SOME.”