“Maybe a friend is someone who wants your updates. Even if they're boring. Or sad. Or annoyingly cutesy. A friend says "Sign me up for your boring crap, yes indeed"--because he likes you anyways. He'll tolerate your junk”

“Bored with your present enemies? Make new ones! Tell two of your women friends that they look alike.”

“A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.”

“I dare you to take me on
I dare you to show me your palms
I'm so bored of cowards who say they want (love)
Then they can't handle love”

“If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.”

“One who reveals your faults to you like a mirror is your true friend, and one who flatters you and covers up your faults is your enemy.”

“How do you get up in the morning?
Another wasted life it's so boring
The system never failed you
You failed yourself and all of your friends
Now your heart is failing too
A total system failure they pronounce you”

“In the world you have three sorts of friends: your friends who love you, your friends who do not care about you and your friends who hate you.”

“If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on TV telling you how to do your shit, then YOU DESERVE IT.”

“If you want to find out who your real friends are, sink the ship. The first ones to jump aren't your friends.”