“Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.”
Source: Standup Comic
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Woody Allen 229
American screenwriter, director, actor, comedian, author, p… 1935Related quotes

“Physics is to mathematics what sex is to masturbation.”
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Source: Ava: My Story

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Cartoon caption, The New Yorker (22 April 1939); "A Miscellany", Alarms and Diversions (1957)
Cartoon captions

“Absolutely, because during sex, I’m just going to run a filmstrip. I’m still masturbating.”
In answer to the question, "Masturbation for you is as good as sex?"
The Playboy interview (2010)

“When someone won't let you in, eventually you stop knocking.”
Source: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (2011), Chapter 4, Page 88