“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“I wish you love - and happiness
I guess I wish - you all the best
I wish you don't - do like I do
And never fall in love with someone like you
Cause if you fell - just like I did
You'd probably walk around the block like a little kid
But kids don't know - they can only guess...”

“I want to be the girl with the most cake
He only loves those things because he loves to see them break
I fake it so real, I am beyond fake
And someday you will ache like I ache
Someday you will ache like I ache”

“You know how I feel about love. It was invented to sell wedding cakes. And vacations to Waikiki.”

“I'm not the best person In the world, but I can tell you this: I Love Kids.”

“Griddle cakes, pancakes, hot cakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love?”

“Love is when you have a really amazing piece of cake, and it’s the very last piece, but you let him have it.”

“Kids chase the love that eludes them, and for me, that was my father's love. He kept it tucked away, like papers in a briefcase. And I kept trying to get in there.”

“Who is the loving person? The loving person is the person who loves him or herself. I say this so often, and people say, "Oh yes, you're so right," but they don't do it! You will never be able to love anyone else until you love yourself. Even With your Fat Thighs!”

“"You have loved enough, now let me be the lover." You could say that God is speaking to you or the cosmos, or your lover. It just means, like, Forget it. Lean back and be loved by all that is already loving you. It is your effort at love that is preventing you from experiencing it. It is like if you ever taught kids how to swim. The most difficult thing is Goddam to understand that they will float, if they relax, if they hold their breath and relax, they will actually float. For most kids it is difficult to swim. They feel they are going to sink like a stone to the bottom of the lake.”