“Hoping to court ex-New Yorkers living in Florida, the Bush campaign is running radio ads there, featuring former New York mayors Rudy Giuliani and Ed Koch. The ads begin, "Hiiii. We're the reason you LEFT."”Tina Fey citation needed
“It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.”Tina Fey citation needed
“New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani is once again expressing outrage at an art exhibit, this time at a painting in which Jesus is depicted as a naked woman. Said the mayor, "This trash is not the sort of thing that I want to look at when I go to the museum with my mistress."”Tina Fey citation needed
“According to reports, Britney Spears has told family and close friends that she and her new husband Kevin Federline are expecting their first child. So far, no word on whether it will be a pimp or a ho.”Tina Fey http://snltranscripts.jt.org/04/04aupdate.phtml
“It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, 'if this is what it takes to win, it's not worth it.”Tina Fey citation needed
“According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don't worry, lonely women, you'll be dead soon.”Tina Fey citation needed
“FOX is developing a new reality dating series called Playing it Straight, in which a female contestant will date 14 bachelors, some of whom are gay, and some are straight. The show was originally called The Tina Fey College Experience.”Tina Fey http://snltranscripts.jt.org/03/03kupdate.phtml
“Well, today in New York, after months of build up and anticipation, Star Jones made history and became the first person ever to get married.”Tina Fey http://snltranscripts.jt.org/04/04eupdate.phtml