Tina Fey: Trending quotes

Tina Fey trending quotes. Read the latest quotes in collection
Tina Fey: 100 quotes1 like

“Maxim magazine recently released its annual hot 100 list, with Eva Longoria at #1, followed by Jennifer Garner and Lindsay Lohan. While I, once again, was ranked between Bonnie Hunt and Joy Behar.”

Tina Fey

citation needed

“A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.”

Tina Fey

citation needed

“According to reports, Britney Spears has told family and close friends that she and her new husband Kevin Federline are expecting their first child. So far, no word on whether it will be a pimp or a ho.”

Tina Fey

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/04/04aupdate.phtml

“At the upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will perform together as the first time, as man and wife. Hopefully music.”

Tina Fey

citation needed

“Question number one is from someone who calls himself "The Controvert." He says, "Hi, Tina, I love you in the show. In my humble opinion, when a show pushes the boundaries, you end up with a lot of passionate people on both sides. What do you think of the criticism the show gets?" I think that people who say they love the show and they think it's great and they write good reviews of it, are-are correct and that people who don't like the show for any reason are probably-they're just confusing it with Studio 60.”

Tina Fey

"Ask Tina" segment from NBC's 30 Rock website

“The Washington State Supreme Court on Thursday announced a two year suspension for a lawyer caught having jailhouse sex with a triple murder defendant she was representing. Haha! Jokes on you, dummies…I'm not really a lawyer.”

Tina Fey

citation needed

“Bill O'Reilly settled his sexual harassment suit out-of-court this week. This is what he had to say about it on Thursday's O'Reilly Factor:
This brutal ordeal is now officially over and I will never speak of it again.
But I will! 'Cause I like the part about you wanting to rub falafel on that lady's boobs and the part about how you love vibrators, and the part about how you believed it when a prostitute told you you had a big penis? I love all those parts and I'm gonna keep talkin' about them. A lot.”

Tina Fey

SNL, 2004-10-30 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMVxjiIntM0

“It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good.”

Tina Fey

From Bossypants, Little Brown, 2011

“MTV announced this week that the next season of The Real World will be shot in Detroit, as will several cast members.”

Tina Fey

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/05/05dupdate.phtml

“Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman say their split is amicable, and they want everyone to know that after the divorce is final, their two adopted children will be returned to the prop department at Universal Studios.”

Tina Fey

citation needed

“They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin, and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy.”

Tina Fey

"Ask Tina" segment from NBC's 30 Rock website

“Brokeback Mountain was released last weekend. Its notable for being the first Western where the good guys get it in the end.”

Tina Fey

citation needed

“A man who had a heart attack while he was alone in his house was saved when his dog brought him the phone so he could call for help. However, it should be noted that for every one of these heartwarming stories, there's a million others where the dog just sits there like a moron and watches you die.”

Tina Fey

citation needed

“It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, 'if this is what it takes to win, it's not worth it.”

Tina Fey

citation needed

“Helmut Simon, who 13 years ago found the 5,000-year-old remains of a prehistoric man frozen in the ice of an Alpine glacier, has himself disappeared in the snow-covered Alps. Helmut, if you can hear me, don't give up. Help is on the way in five thousand years.”

Tina Fey

citation needed

“Two days before Britney Spears' HBO concert from Las Vegas, someone broke into her dressing room and stole the white, Elvis-inspired jumpsuit that she wore to promote the event. And you know what, I'm not giving it back! I keep it now, it's mine!”

Tina Fey

citation needed

“According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don't worry, lonely women, you'll be dead soon.”

Tina Fey

citation needed

“At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment. Organizers of the orgy were expecting 1500 men, and 8 women.”

Tina Fey

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/01/01aupdate.phtml

“FOX is developing a new reality dating series called Playing it Straight, in which a female contestant will date 14 bachelors, some of whom are gay, and some are straight. The show was originally called The Tina Fey College Experience.”

Tina Fey

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/03/03kupdate.phtml

“Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show…called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.”

Tina Fey

citation needed