Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes (page 9)

“They suffered from the terrible delusion that something could be done. They seemed prepared to make the world the way they wanted it or die in the attempt, and the trouble with dying in the attempt was that you died in the attempt.”

“People whose wishes get granted often don't turn out to be very nice people.”

“They shed a rather unpleasant glow that didn't so much illuminate, asthe darkness.”

“Pollution removed his helmet and shook out his long white hair. He had taken over when Pestilence, muttering about penicillin, had retired in 1936.”

“The trouble with witches is that they’ll never run away from things they really hate.

And the trouble with small furry animals in a corner is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose.”

“Light died in the west. Night and tears took the Nation. The star of Water drifted among the clouds like a murderer softly leaving the scene of the crime.”

“Cake is not the issue here.”

“The Auditors fluttered anxiously. And, as always happens in their species when something goes radically wrong and needs fixing instantly, they settled down to try to work how who was to blame.”

“It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.”

“If you were going to be successful in the world of crime, you needed a reputation for honesty.”

“… a metaphor… is like lying but more decorative.”

“Nothing has to be true forever. Just for long enough.”

“He had the kind of real deep tan that rich people spent ages trying to achieve with expensive holidays and bits of tinfoil, when really all you need to do to obtain one is work your arse off in the open air everyday.”

“You couldn't say 'I had orders.' You couldn't say 'It's not fair.' No one was listening. There were no Words. You owned yourself. […] Not 'Thou Shalt Not'. Say 'I Will Not'.”

“Everything looks interesting until you do it. Then you find it's just another job.”

“Pride is all very well, but a sausage is a sausage.”

“Voodoo is a very interesting religion for the whole family, even those members of it who are dead.”

“The second mouse gets the cheese!”

“He's probably their battle poet, too."
"You mean he makes up heroic songs about famous battles?"
"No, no. He recites poems that frighten the enemy…. When a well-trained gonnagle starts to recite, the enemy's ears explode.”