Teal Swan Quotes

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“We have no shot at creating a thriving human society without seeing the truth. And we can’t create a thriving human society without making this a society that is conducive to people being truthful.”

Teal Swan

“We have a conditional relationship with the truth. We only want truth if it makes us feel more stable. We only want truth if it makes us feel more in control. We only want truth if it makes us feel good. And this conditional relationship that we have with the truth will be our downfall.”

Teal Swan

“If we show or tell someone a truth about ourselves, it will cause them to become more clear about their truth. We have to develop the capacity to make room for both truths.”

Teal Swan

“We value things like stability, control and feeling good. We often see truth as an oppositional force to these things, when in reality, truth is our only way of actually achieving these things.”

Teal Swan

“Truth is not a pain killer. This means that truth might bring the experience of relief, or it might bring the experience of pain. But either way, it holds within it the power of positive change.”

Teal Swan

“Truth is your only chance at living the life you want to live and making life choices that are actually right for you.”

Teal Swan

“Throw out previous teachings from people who seek to CONTROL instead of to KNOW THE TRUTH of their emotions.”

Teal Swan

“With the right person, you will experience someone who is able not only to accept, but also to love the truth of you and meet your needs because it brings them pleasure to do so.”

Teal Swan

“Open the flood gates and expose the truth of who you are, and all that will be left is people who accept it. All others will flee, you will be left with only those that are allies.”

Teal Swan

“When you make a decision or take an action based off of something that isn’t true, it is absolutely guaranteed to fall apart; like building a sand castle where it will be washed away by the tide.”

Teal Swan

“Dysfunctional relationship is not the exception. It is the norm. The only reason people don't realize it is because they've normalized the dysfunction.”

Teal Swan

“Currently, what is expected is that a person does not get emotionally aroused or dysregulated, is not emotionally phased or affected by anything someone else does or does not do, does not blame anyone for what they do or don’t do that causes emotional harm and especially does not defend themselves from emotional harm. What is glorified in society is emotional neutrality/numbness… Not having emotions.”

Teal Swan

“When we won’t admit to the truth of what we want, we simultaneously fight against our truth and for our truth.”

Teal Swan

“At the core, people are creators. They can conceptualize of what does not yet exist. And they can bring it into a physical manifestation.”

Teal Swan

“If people would understand that what we are calling mental illness is really just adaptive strategies for mitigating unsafety, it would completely change the approach we take with regards to mental illness.”

Teal Swan

“Truth is the only opportunity you have to create real things in reality.”

Teal Swan

“So many people are living from strategy instead of from authenticity. So many people are being strategic instead of honest; both with themselves and with others.”

Teal Swan

“When we live in a society where people genuinely feel that what matters most is the romantic partnership, we have learned that other people will value and prioritize a romantic partner above all other relationships. Therefore, you are only genuinely secure and only have leverage for getting your needs met in a relationship, if you are that person’s romantic partner.”

Teal Swan

“Just like water and air, connection with others is a basic human need.”

Teal Swan

“A romantic partner is not all there is. It is not your only hope of getting the needs that you have reliably met. It is not your only hope of happiness. A great many needs that you have, which you are convinced can only come in the form of a romantic partner, are actually not dependent on a romantic partner.”

Teal Swan

“If we see a romantic partnership as the only relationship that promises to meet our needs, we will put all the pressure on that other person to be the one to meet all of our needs, which is impossible. No one person can meet all of our needs. So, it is a set up for disappointment and for pain.”

Teal Swan

“If we see a romantic partnership as the only relationship that promises to meet our needs, the only one that will make us happy, the only one in which we can feel secure and establish a sense of guarantee, we will fail to recognize and we will devalue all of the other forms of relationships around us; as well as the plentitude of resources that each one offers us.”

Teal Swan

“People and families and cultures and religions and government organizations and educational sources and forms of entertainment have all been indoctrinating you with the false idea that marriage is the most important relationship you will have. And that the romantic pair bond is the only relationship in which your needs can be met.”

Teal Swan

“One of the biggest barriers to people getting their needs met in the modern world is that so many people glorify the romantic partnership while devaluing every other type of relationship.”

Teal Swan

“Much of the process of socialization that took place in the past and that takes place today, is a process of using the control tactic of shaming so as to create the desired behavior that we want.”

Teal Swan

“No matter what your "should standard" would have you believe, the truth is that there is no shame in struggling.”

Teal Swan

“There is a big difference between feeling shame and being shamed… The feeling we call shame is a natural biological affective reaction that is occurring when we fear social consequence. To shame someone is to use the natural biological affective reaction of shame as a tool for manipulating and controlling someone to suit your own interests.”

Teal Swan

“People who were wounded by being incompatible with their family and therefore being pushed away, shamed and rejected for who they are, are desperate to belong. They are so desperate for connection that they commit to people who are incompatible to them even after they become aware of the incompatibility. It is a bit like being so desperate for water that you'll drink it even if you know it is poisoned.”

Teal Swan

“Feeling is your compass. If you can feel, you have no cause to seek an outside opinion about your direction in life.”

Teal Swan

“Every opportunity, person, event, circumstance and thing which supports happiness in your life will show up for you when you have the courage to follow how you feel as your only compass directing you through your life.”

Teal Swan

“Your EMOTIONS are also the doorway to discovering the subconscious limitations you have which are preventing your happiness in life. Not being in touch with your emotions in life is similar to being stranded in a foreign wilderness without a compass.”

Teal Swan

“It is important to make sure that the reason your inner compass is pointing the way it is pointing, is both conscious and something you can consciously align with.”

Teal Swan

“When you follow your emotional guidance system with the awareness that your inner compass can be ‘faulty’ you will be able to question yourself in the spirit of curiosity and the desire to be totally aware… You will ask yourself WHY something feels good to do.”

Teal Swan

“Your desires do not control you any more than a compass can control you. But ignoring, denying or trying to change a compass to say what you would rather it say, tends to have drastic consequences.”

Teal Swan

“The inner compass is designed to lead you in the direction of what is in your best interests. But just because something is in your best interests does not mean that it will necessarily be pleasurable.”

Teal Swan

“The current way that people make their relationship last is by adopting dysfunction and adapting to dysfunction.”

Teal Swan

“Negating negatives with positives is a form of toxic positivity.”

Teal Swan

“It doesn't work to compromise in a relationship because a person can’t give up something that they value (and thus give up what really matters to them) without experiencing pain that eventually causes disharmony in the relationship.”

Teal Swan

“By ignoring truth and by creating YOUR OWN reality, you can turn yourself into a cancer cell within the collective and within the universe at large.”

Teal Swan

“Hell on Earth is a world where there are over 7 billion people and most of them feel completely alone.”

Teal Swan

“It is tempting to think that the majority of relationships are functional and that dysfunctional relationships are the rarity. But the reverse is actually true. Most relationships between people on earth today fall somewhere on the scale of dysfunction.”

Teal Swan

“Relationships are the central part of life and also the hardest part of life and yet our schools teach us a minimum of 13 years of math and science and geography and history, but nothing about relationships and how to make them work.”

Teal Swan

“Relationships involve the inevitability of rupture. The degree of security and joy felt within a relationship is about our capacity to create repair.”

Teal Swan

“To build a secure relationship, caretake the insecurity and unsafety of the other person in the relationship. And recognize when you feel insecure or unsafe in your relationship so that you can very quickly initiate re-establishing security and safety with the other person.”

Teal Swan

“When you notice anger kick in, you must slow way down and attend to the vulnerability, the pain and the fear and the perceived powerlessness underneath it.”

Teal Swan

“Just because you think something is normal, does not mean it is healthy, does not mean it is right and does not mean it is good.”

Teal Swan

“Be workable all you can in a relationship, but do not compromise.”

Teal Swan

“The worst thing you could ever do to someone from a position of authority is to turn them against themselves. The worst thing you could do is to make them believe that it is wrong to feel how they feel and so something must be wrong with them. It is not malice that makes 'therapists' do this. It is ignorance. But it is ignorance that must end. And I will dedicate myself to ending that ignorance for as long as I draw breath.”

Teal Swan

“The most common reason that relationships fall apart is because of safety. On a subconscious level, even though our relationships grant us a sense of safety, if we perceive that something about a relationship makes us unsafe, we care more about our own safety than we care about the other person’s experience and we care more about our own safety than we care about the health of the relationship itself.”

Teal Swan