Margaret Cho: Likeness

“I was like, Am I gay? Am I straight? And I realized… I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?”

Margaret Cho

“Most conservatives also believe in the death penalty, but not abortion, which proves they like to procrastinate.”

Margaret Cho

Source: I Have Chosen to Stay and Fight

Death , Penalty

“Like when Jay Leno made jokes about Koreans eating dog, but the hidden messages, our invisibility, is more harmful to us than any of those fools on "board."”

Margaret Cho

From Her Books, I Have Chosen To Stay And Fight, INVISIBILITY

Dogs , Fools

“Don't you think the soldiers look like they came straight from high school yearbooks, too young to be over in Iraq, fighting for no reason?”

Margaret Cho

From Her Books, I Have Chosen To Stay And Fight, WAR

School , Thinking , Fight

“Monogamy is so weird. Like when you know their name and stuff.”

Margaret Cho

From Her Tours and CDs, Revolution Tour

“If I'm talking to a guy who's straight and cute and single, I'm like, "Are you a unicorn?"”

Margaret Cho

From Her Tours and CDs, I'm The One That I Want Tour

Guy

“I stamp my feet and claim ignorance like a child, because its the color of my skin that says I'm supposed to know. I become the "one who refuses to see the self."”

Margaret Cho

From Her Books, I Have Chosen To Stay And Fight, PIGEONHOLING PEOPLE

Color

“The way some of these politicians talk about homosexuality is very insulting. They treat it like it's a disease, like being gay is contagious. Being gay is not contagious. And if you think that it is, YOU'RE GAY.”

Margaret Cho

From Her Tours and CDs, Assassin CD

Disease , Way , Thinking

“I was on a plane, and the steward was coming down the aisle. "Asian chicken salad… Asian chicken salad… Asian chicken salad…" And he gets to me and he's like, "… chicken salad!" What does he think I'm gonna do? "Dis is not de salad of my people! In my homeland, dey use mandarin orange slices… and crispy wonton crunches!"”

Margaret Cho

From Her Tours and CDs, Revolution Tour

People , Thinking

“Talking to John Kerry is like talking to an Ent. You know, the tree people from Lord of the Rings…[imitating an Ent] I believe that all Americans should have affordable healthcare…”

Margaret Cho

From Her Tours and CDs, Assassin CD

People , Tree

“Do I look like a happy-ending to you?”

Margaret Cho

From Her Tours and CDs, Beautiful Tour

Happiness

“I can't even look at those "women's magazines" anyway. I love fashion, but I look at the pictures of the skinny models, and they're wearing clothes I can't even fit on my fingers. And I look at that and I think, if that is what a woman is supposed to look like, then I must not be one.”

Margaret Cho

From Her Tours and CDs, The Notorious C.H.O. Tour

Love , Women , Fashion , Thinking

“The National Enquirer published this thing called the "Chow like Cho Diet," which was this fake diet that I never went on, with all these fake quotes from me, like "When I was a little girl, I was raised on rice and fish. So when I get heavy, I go back to that natural Asian way of eating." That is so Mulan. You can almost hear the mandolin in the background. "When I was a little girl, I grow up on the rice paddy… and although we have no food, I have a tendency to put on weight."”

Margaret Cho

From Her Tours and CDs, I'm The One That I Want Tour

Food , Way , Quotes , Girl

“I was working on this movie and the makeup artist was just so ugly! I just wanted to say "Physician, heal thyself!" She looked exactly like Aaron Neville, and she was trying her hardest to make me look exactly like Aaron Neville. This one time, she leaned into my face with the mascara wand almost touching my eye and she says, "Whass my name?"”

Margaret Cho

From Her Tours and CDs, Drunk With Power CD

Time

“I think that gay people should have the right to get married by Elvis like everybody else.”

Margaret Cho

From Her Tours and CDs, Revolution Tour

People , Thinking

“My mom used to give me messages like this: "Ummmmmmm… Scott called… IS HE THE GAY??!!" "Well, God, mom, I don't know if he's the gay… that's a lot of pressure on just one guy. He has to do the parade all by himself! 'I'm here! I'm queer!… I guess I'm the only one.'"”

Margaret Cho

From Her Tours and CDs, I'm The One That I Want Tour

God , Guy , Moms

“If you've ever bought drugs before, you understand that for some bizarre reason you have to feign this relationship with your dealer. It's like you're not really going to him to buy drugs. You're going for a social visit. Drugs are the surprise that just happens when you get there. "Oh, hash? I didn't know!" And he's talkin' to you and you're tryin' to be interested, you know, "Oh yeah? No, really…I love Foghat. No, seriously." And inside you're like, "Just fuckin' give it! I hate you. Your house smells like cat pee!"”

Margaret Cho

Why do all drug dealers' houses smell like cat pee?
From Her Tours and CDs, The Notorious C.H.O. Tour

Love , Hate , Cats , Understanding

“It is a good life, if I watch myself. Kind of like when I used to diet, but now instead of limiting calories, I will not allow negative self-talk. I cut out insults like I cut out carbs and it is hard as hell because I crave self-abuse like hot, fresh sourdough bread, but you know you have to be nice to you if you are going to live together.”

Margaret Cho

From Her Weblog

Life , Hell

“I love Karl Lagerfeld, and they [PETA] hate him because he showed fur in his collection, and they protested his fashion show. People were chanting outside, "KARL LAGERFELD IS A MURDERER! KARL LAGERFELD IS A MURDERER!" And I thought, "Wouldn't it be fabulous if Karl Lagerfeld actually was a murderer?" Like, what if he just fuckin' lost it one day… backstage at a show in Milan… and bludgeoned Elsa Klensch to death with a platform shoe. "I HATE THAT BLOUSE!"”

Margaret Cho

From Her Tours and CDs, I'm The One That I Want Tour

Love , Death , Hate , People

“Silence equals nonexistence. If I don't give too much information, if I don't go there, it's like I was never there in the first place. I noticed this most right after September 11, when there were no gays or lesbians invited to give their opinion about what was going on. There were no women invited to give their opinion. There were hardly any people of color invited, and if they were, they were Muslim-Americans and Arab-Americans talking about the violence that they'd experienced because they shared the same skin color as the terrorists, which is heinous and dumb!”

Margaret Cho

That's like arresting Emmanuel Lewis because Gary Coleman punched that woman!
From Her Tours and CDs, Revolution Tour

Women , People , Color , Silence