Maddox: Likeness

“Don't you retards think before you click "Send" that maybe someone on the other end is actually going to read your stupid, malformed emails some day? It's almost like there's a record full of incomprehensible bullshit playing in your mind 24/7, and you put the needle down randomly and whatever it picks up, you just type it up in an email and shoot it off to me, usually mid-sentence.”

Maddox

I am a genius, you are not. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=your_stupid_ideas
The Best Page in the Universe

Stupidity , Thinking , Reading

“Watching this video is like being bukkaked with stupid.”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

Stupidity

“"The theme song states "YOU GOT THE POWER TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE… YOU GOT THE POWER TO MAKE A CHANGE." Wow, thank you MTV, for making me feel empowered and independent, like only a multinational media conglomerate can."”

Maddox

I hate Cameron Diaz http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=trippin
The Best Page in the Universe

Feeling , Change

“This car just looks terrible; it looks like it was designed by a blind child with arthritis. In a coma.”

Maddox

on the Honda Element
Proof that wealth can't buy class: the top four ugliest cars on the road. http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=ugly_cars
The Best Page in the Universe

Cars

“(introduction) This page is about me and why everything I like is great. If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong.”

Maddox

The Best Page In The Universe. http://maddox.xmission.com/
The Best Page in the Universe

“Thank you Joe Nobody for giving me your expert opinion on what missile sounds like, because gas station superintendents are usually the best people to ask about the sonic signature of ballistic missile thrust.”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

People

“It was like Rambo sent them all Christmas cards, but instead of cards it was murder.”

Maddox

Astrology is bullshit. http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=astrology
The Best Page in the Universe

Christmas

“"This sounds like the soundtrack of a coma." (On U2's song One Step Closer)”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

“"my friend and i were watching mtv the other day when nelly came on and my friend was like "omg nelly rules". hes such an idiot, he only listens to trendy music. at least i like original stuff like beyonce.”

Maddox

lol @ fox for laugh out loud sundays! http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=af_fox
The Best Page in the Universe, April Fools

Music

“I don't get it: they re-package the same shitty football games every year, update a few stats, call it a new game and millions of suckers keep buying them. What's the point? Why not just go outside and play real football instead? Or even better yet, get bent. Nobody likes football.”

Maddox

Ikaruga kicks ass http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=ikaruga
The Best Page in the Universe

Game , Football

“If you've ever wondered what someone who's horny enough to pay a bunch of adolescents $5000 in cash in exchange for some action looks like, take a good look at Ms. Walker's picture. Three words: battery operated dildo. Or if you happen to be a stickler for brevity like I am, just one word: cucumber. Because, damn.”

Maddox

How to spot a pedophile http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=spot_the_pedo.
The Best Page in the Universe

“Imagine finding out you got rejected from community college, then finding out that your alcoholic father got arrested for domestic abuse, you lost all your life savings in a Ponzi scheme, and all of this happens to you while you're on the space shuttle Challenger. Then you wake up and it's all a bad dream, except you realize that you're at work without clothes on, and work is NASA and you're really on the space shuttle Challenger. That's what this movie is like, only infinitely worse. Everything about this movie pissed me off, save for the lesbian finger bang scene. Except even that sucked because it wasn't in the movie.”

Maddox

Quantum of Solace is a shitpile. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=quantum_of_phallus
The Best Page in the Universe

Life , Alcohol , Dreams , Imagination

“Okay, here's a tip: if you're doing something creepy like molesting children, you don't need to take topless photos of yourself to seal the deal. We know, the pedosmile is enough.”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

Children , Photo

“"4 example the other day i saw a black person walking down the street and i was like "omg a negro" but instead of walking on the other side i said "what would rumsfeld do?" so i stayed on the sidewalk. when he came up to me i wanted to show him that i have no problems with people of color so i said "hey" and offered him my spare change before he could even ask."”

Maddox

i love donald rumsfeld http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=af_racist
The Best Page in the Universe, April Fools

People , Color , Problem , Change

“When I say this game is hard, I mean hard like nipples-on-a-blind-lesbian-in-a-fish-market hard.”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

Game , Fish

“Passing out while you try to kill yourself is like failing at failing.”

Maddox

How to kill yourself like a man. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=manly_suicide
The Best Page in the Universe

“She started crying when she saw the busted colon I gave her pussy husband, so she took one of her shoes off and threw it at me. I caught the shoe between my pecs and I started to laugh like a pirate. Then she started walking towards me to take her shoe back, and there was no way I was going to let this bitch get near my chest so I body slammed her into a cactus that happened to be there. She got up and was uglier than before, so I did what I always do when women start to cry: I went back inside to play video games.”

Maddox

Why change your car's oil when your girlfriend can do it? http://maddox.xmission.com/oil.html
The Best Page in the Universe

Game , Bitch , Cry , Shoe