Maddox: Trending quotes

“It simultaneously warms my heart and wears my delete key when I get emails from twelve-year-olds.”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

Heart

“"How can a movie be "one of the best"? There's only one "best" movie, so saying something is "one of the best" is stupid and doesn't make sense. Technically any movie that's not the worst could be considered "one of the best." Imagine that, another empty phrase used by marketing people. I want to punch someone in the throat."”

Maddox

Hollywood: still out of ideas? How about another black-guy-meets-white-guy comedy http://maddox.xmission.com/cop_movie.html
The Best Page in the Universe

People , Stupidity , Imagination , Sense

“6. You realize that if 10 million people saw the movie once, each wasting 3 hours of their lives, that 30 million hours have been wasted, and that if each person lived an average of 70 years, 3,424 years, or 49 lives will have been wasted watching the Titanic. James Cameron has effectively murdered 49 people. (Not necessarily a reason to cry, but it is to a sap that saw Titanic in the first place).”

Maddox

Reasons to cry during the movie "Titanic" http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=cry_titanic.
The Best Page in the Universe

People , Personality , Cry

“Most of the screen on a blog is blank for an imaginary populace of readers still using 640x480 resolution. I didn't buy a 19" monitor to have 50% of its screen realestate pissed away on firing white pixels, you assholes.”

Maddox

If these words were people, I would embrace their genocide http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=banish.
The Best Page in the Universe

“I've pissed higher than the tallest building in Utah.”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

“Don't you retards think before you click "Send" that maybe someone on the other end is actually going to read your stupid, malformed emails some day? It's almost like there's a record full of incomprehensible bullshit playing in your mind 24/7, and you put the needle down randomly and whatever it picks up, you just type it up in an email and shoot it off to me, usually mid-sentence.”

Maddox

I am a genius, you are not. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=your_stupid_ideas
The Best Page in the Universe

Stupidity , Thinking , Reading

“(introduction) "this page is about my opinions. if you disagree, you have a right to your opinion and i can respect that."”

Maddox

One of the Better Pages in the Universe. http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=april_fools04
The Best Page in the Universe, April Fools

“New rule: if your state has more cows than people, you don't get to be a state anymore.”

Maddox

Idaho blows http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=idaho_blows
The Best Page in the Universe

People

“General Grievous," a bad guy so sinister, his very name stands for PAIN AND SUFFERING. Nice job assholes… Why not just call all your characters "Evil" and "Bad" next time?”

Maddox

Star Wars Episode III: a steaming pile of Sith http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=episode3
The Best Page in the Universe

Pain , Guy , Suffering , Evil

“…'SummerGrl19?' Very clever handle by the way, the only way you could make it any more unoriginal or cliche would be to add the words 'happy, cute' or 'princess' to the name.”

Maddox

Bullshit Hate Mail http://maddox.xmission.com/hatemail.cgi?p=1#MARATHON.
The Best Page in the Universe

Way , Princess , Happiness

“Watching this video is like being bukkaked with stupid.”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

Stupidity

“That reminds me of how much I hate babies. Why does everyone want to save them? There are too many babies. I'm not saying we should kill them, but if you happen to be giving your baby a bath and the phone rings.. well, nobody will judge you. Besides, you might get free brownies out of it at the funeral, and brownies rule.”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

Hate , Baby

“It's not that I rule, it's that everyone else sucks more than I do. We all suck, and whoever sucks the least is king.”

Maddox

Whoever Sucks the Least is King: An Interview with Maddox http://www.poindexteronline.com/old/www/text/archives/00000078.html
The Best Page in the Universe

“Science can learn a lot from someone this stupid.”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

Stupidity , Learning , Science

“Whales are drinking all our water and eating our sailors.”

Maddox

When is the last time a whale did anything for you? http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=whales_suck
The Best Page in the Universe

Drink , Water

“"The theme song states "YOU GOT THE POWER TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE… YOU GOT THE POWER TO MAKE A CHANGE." Wow, thank you MTV, for making me feel empowered and independent, like only a multinational media conglomerate can."”

Maddox

I hate Cameron Diaz http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=trippin
The Best Page in the Universe

Feeling , Change

“This car just looks terrible; it looks like it was designed by a blind child with arthritis. In a coma.”

Maddox

on the Honda Element
Proof that wealth can't buy class: the top four ugliest cars on the road. http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=ugly_cars
The Best Page in the Universe

Cars

“Fernando is wanted for 'murder with a deadly weapon' according to the FBI website. As opposed to being wanted for murder with a non-deadly weapon?”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

“(introduction) This page is about me and why everything I like is great. If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong.”

Maddox

The Best Page In The Universe. http://maddox.xmission.com/
The Best Page in the Universe

“There are only three reasons you should ever be this delighted about anything, and all of them involve you being a hot chick, meeting me, and lube.”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe