Ilona Andrews Quotes
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Ilona Andrews is the pen name of Ilona Gordon and Andrew Gordon, an American husband-and-wife duo who write urban fantasy and romantic fiction together. Wikipedia

Ilona Andrews: 428 quotes9 likes

Ilona Andrews Quotes

“What kind of shapeshifter has orange fur anyway?" "Weredingo." Now I'd seen everything. Well, at least he didn't steal my baby.”

Source: Magic Strikes

“My ego doesn't need soothing. I don't want him soothing anything of mine, including you.”

Source: Magic Slays

“And let’s be honest, you weren’t exactly harmed. I even took you home.” “You dumped me on my doorstep. According to my mother, I looked half dead.” “Your mother exaggerates. A third dead at most.” I stared at him. Wow. Just wow.”

Source: Burn for Me

“Had records so stellar, they had to lock their resumes in a drawer at night, so the golden light streaming from the pages wouldn't keep them awake.”

Source: Magic Slays

“Any activity?" Robert asked.
"Not in the lasssht ten minutesh. Before that, very exshiting. I shaw Wolf Beta run by. There were vampiresh chassing her. She was yelling, 'Bill me, bloodshuckers!”

Source: Magic Breaks

“If I pass out face down in this water, will you fish me out?"
"Will you promise to call me Your Majesty?"
"Hell no."
"Then I'll have to think about it.”

Source: Magic Breaks

“I have to say, your technique is really different. Curran hammered at the spell until it broke. You just talk. Help me out here, what’s the strategy? Are you hoping the ward will get tired and kill itself so it won’t have to listen to you anymore?”

Source: Magic Breaks

“Magic could not be measured and explained in scientific terms, for magic grew through destroying the very natural principles that made science as people knew it impossible.”

Source: Magic Bites

“Nice plan. Take the gullible outsiders, walk them around for a bit, then feed them to the giant tortoise.”

Source: Magic Burns

“Curran grinned and my heart made a little jump. I didn’t expect that.
“That’s it? That’s your witty comeback?”
“Yep.” Eloquence ’R’ Us. When in trouble, keep it monosyllabic—safer that way.”

“You're problem is, you underestimate me because I'm a woman.”

Source: Magic Burns

“The sound of my name in his voice stopped me in midturn. I don't know how the hell he did it, but whenever he said my name, it cut through all other distractions and made me pause, as if he'd clenched me to him and kissed me.”

Source: Magic Slays

“A ghastly attempt at a smile, sure to send any normal person to a therapist.”

Source: Magic Burns

“Vampires smiled for many reasons, but when a vampire male smiled at you from this distance with that kind of look in his eyes it was done for one purpose only: to impress. Look at my big teeth. I’m an apex predator. My genetic material is awesome.”

Source: Clean Sweep

“I'm going to kick you in the head when I get home. Repeatedly.”

Source: Magic Slays

“Are you implying that our relationship is like a Spanish soap opera?”

“I’m not implying. I’m saying it.”

Source: Gunmetal Magic

“Morfran thrust his axe straight up. He pretty much seemed to have one sign for everything: poke a hole in the sky.”

Source: Magic Burns

“As soon as the engagement was announced, the Pack Clans converged and shot the idea of a quiet ceremony out of the water and then kept firing at it until it stopped convulsing and died.”

Source: Magic Breaks

“I'm sorry about the dinner."
"Best date ever. Well, until people died and vampires showed up. But before that it was awesome.”

Source: Magic Gifts

“In death, they all looked the same. This morning they spoke, they breathed, they kissed their loved ones good-bye. And now they lay dead. Gone forever.”

Source: Magic Burns

“If my luck held, it wouldn't be a handsome Greek demigod looking for the love of his life or at least his love of a couple of hours.”

Source: Magic Burns

“He kissed me, and I pulled my personal psycho into bed with me.”

Source: Magic Slays

“I will always be there. I will walk across the whole planet if I have to.”
I closed my eyes and whispered, “I’ll meet you halfway.”

Source: Magic Shifts

“Can you turn so you’re not pressed against me?”

“I could,” he said, his voice amused. “But then you would have to lie on top of me.”

My brain said, “NO.” My body went, “Wheee!”

Source: Burn for Me

“If a man takes you to a restaurant of his choosing, don’t compliment him. Rave about the quality of the food and he’ll be thrilled, because he took you there.”

Source: Magic Bites

“If you don't explain it all to me, I might strangle somebody." Of course, Raphael might like that…”

Source: Magic Burns

“If your head explodes can I have your stuff?”

Source: Magic Breaks

“I hit him on the back of the neck. He submerged.”

Source: Magic Strikes

“What do you do to your hair?"
"Dust, hair gel, and a little gun oil."
"Ever thought of patenting the recipe?"
"No.”

Source: Magic Bites

“Yeah, that would fly.”

Source: Magic Bleeds

“I saved the baby. I saved her. For you."
- Bran”

Source: Magic Burns

“Runes, runes, runes… Runes. An inverted Algiz rune. The caption next to it said “Chernobog.” The Black God. Right. Of course, it wouldn’t be Chernobog, God of Morning Dew on the Rose Petals, but a woman could always hope.”

Source: Magic Slays

“What are your qualifications for this job?” she asked. “I’m expendable,” I said.”

Source: Burn for Me

“The Order of Merciful Aid provided merciful aid, usually on the edge of a blade or the burn of a bullet.”

Source: Magic Burns

“my father asked.“If you build a tower in Lawrenceville, I will smash it, set it on fire, and salt the ground it stood on.”

Source: Magic Shifts

“I know it may come as a shock, but it's sort of considered polite to wait for the consent of the woman. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if you don't wait, you may have to deal with pesky criminal charges like kidnapping and rape.”

Source: Magic Bleeds

“Oh no, is it naked time?”

Source: Magic Bleeds

“Did you strangle the wolf alpha?" Not that she didn't deserve it.
Curran grimaced. "Of course not. I needed information. After I put her face in my mouth, we agreed that it was in her best interests to tell me what I wanted to know.”

Source: Magic Breaks

“I mourn my sword, but that’s alright. Grandmother gave me another one.”

Source: Magic Breaks

“Now remember, Kate." Barabas leaned over to me, grinning. "You are the Consort. Be the Consort." He stretched "be" into a three-syllable word. "Think like a-"

"Open the door or I'll punch you right in the face," I growled.”

Source: Magic Breaks

“You sure you don't need your Prince Charming to come and save you?
Sure, do you have one handy?
Oh, I think I could scrounge one up somewhere. As often as I have to rescue you.”

Variant: You sure you don't need your Prince Charming to come and save you?"
The knot in my stomach evaporated. My Prince Charming huh. "Sure, do you have one handy?
Source: Magic Slays

“Our stares connected and we were quiet for a long minute, united by our misery. At least he understood me and I understood him.
"A fine pair we make,” he said.
"Yeah.”

Source: Magic Burns

“I dropped all the guards. All the leashes, all the chains, everything that ever restrained me through the discipline and fear of discovery, I let it all go. No need to hide.”

Source: Magic Burns

“I can always tell when you're thinking about food. You forget to be the Serious Wolf and you get this dreamy look in your eyes. You know, most people would think you were thinking about a girl. They have no idea that her name is bacon.”

Source: Magic Stars

“Look, he isn’t even concerned.”
I poured the tea. “He’s concerned, Mother. He just doesn’t panic, because he’s in charge and if he panics, everybody else will panic.”
“I can jog around the room pretending to scream if you would like,” Jim offered.”

Source: Magic Dreams

“The Beast Lord walked out of the warehouse. The screen went dark.
My knight in furry armor.
Saiman opened his mouth. "This is why I didn't. Personally, I think your smile is inappropriate.”

Source: Magic Slays

“Whatever storm was brewing, I'd find it and fight it. If it was the price of being with Curran, then I would pay it. He was worth it.”

Source: Magic Slays

“I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus." Saiman said dryly. "Thank you for reminding me."
"Always happy to oblige.”

Source: Magic Rises

“She eats grass. Don’t ask.”

Source: Magic Strikes

“Bad days, good days, ‘I’ll cut you if you look at me the wrong way’ days. I’ll take them all.”

Source: Gunmetal Magic