“This homeless guy asked me for money the other day. I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol. And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on. Why am I judging this poor bastard?”Greg Giraldo Just For Laughs
“There are more whipped guys on television than there were on the Amistad.”Greg Giraldo Midlife Vices (2009)
“Mario! You are one, tiny loudmouth fairy. You're the only guy I know who takes a stepladder into a gloryhole.”Greg Giraldo Joan Rivers Comedy Central Roast (2009)