George Carlin: Trending quotes (page 7)

“If we could only find out who's in charge, we could kill him.”

“Think off center.”

“I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose… it'll be much harder to detect.”

“Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.”

“Life is tough, then you die.”

“If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?”

“I went through the usual stages: imp, rascal, scalawag, whippersnapper. And, of course, after that it's just a small step to full-blown sociopath.”

“Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.”

“If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?”

“Always do whatever's next.”

“What wine goes with Captain Crunch?”

“Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff.”

“Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.”

“Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.”

“Is there another word for synonym?”

“Sometimes a little brain damage can help.”

“The status quo sucks.”

“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”

“I hate Dr Phil. Dr Phil told me to express my feelings, so I'm expressing them.”