Eoin Colfer: Trending quotes (page 2)

“Who are you?" he asked.
I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.”

“I don't like lollipops.”

“Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told.
--Artemis Fowl”

“In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter—they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught.”

“A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.”

“I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.”

“You wouldn't know a clue if it danced in front of you with a T-Shirt that read 'I'm a clue”

“The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask.”

“No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order à la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors?”

“Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.”

“I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.”

“Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.”

“Can we please focus? We are supposed to be professionals." Holly said.

"Not me!" said Orion cheerily, "I'm just a Teenager with hormones running wild and may I say, young fairy lady, they're running wild in your direction.”

“(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)”

“Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!”

“(text message) CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CNONS CNTRLLED BY KBOI. I M TRPPED IN OP BTH. CNCL THNKS IM 2 BLM. IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR.”

“If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.”

“I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn."
Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer.
Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.”

“I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.”