Doug Stanhope: Likeness

Doug Stanhope is American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. Explore interesting quotes on likeness.
Doug Stanhope: 56   quotes 1   like

“I hate when your friends quit drinking on you, don't you? It's sad. I've lost more friends to AA than Liberace did to the virus. It's sad to see 'em go. You see a thirty day chip on your buddy's key ring, it's like seeing a toe tag on his cold, stiff corpse.”

Doug Stanhope

Something to Take the Edge Off (2000)

Hate , Sadness , Drink

“Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist.”

Doug Stanhope

Deadbeat Hero (2004)

“You have options when it comes to abortion now. It's not like 1955 when you just had to kick her down a staircase and hope for the best… you feed her a tapeworm and hope it takes a left at the Y.”

Doug Stanhope

Deadbeat Hero (2004)

Hope

“America may be the best country, but that's like being the prettiest Denny's waitress. Just because you're the best doesn't mean you're good.”

Doug Stanhope

Word of Mouth (2002)

Country

“Life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone.”

Doug Stanhope

Something to Take the Edge Off (2000)

Life , Animals

“Suicide is another thing that's so frowned upon in this society, but honestly, life isn't for everybody. It really isn't. It's sad when kids kill themselves 'cause they didn't really give it a chance, but life is like a movie: if you've sat through more than half of it and it sucked every second so far, it probably isn't gonna get great right at the very end for you and make it all worthwhile. No one should blame you for walking out early.”

Doug Stanhope

Something to Take the Edge Off (2000)

Life , Sadness , Suicide , Chance