Dorothy Parker: Doing

“In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you.”

“Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!”

“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”

“If I didn't care for fun and such,
I'd probably amount to much.
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.”

“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”

“Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.”

“Prince or commoner, tenor or bass,
Painter or plumber or never-do-well,
Do me a favor and shut your face -
Poets alone should kiss and tell.”

“If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.”

“How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack.”

“[On being told of Calvin Coolidge's death] How do they know? (Coolidge was well-known for being a man of very few words.)”

“Anyone can do that—the stunt lies in not doing it. p. 8”

“It takes me six months to do a story. I think it out and then write it sentence by sentence—no first draft. I can’t write five words but that I change seven.”