Daniel Handler: Trending quotes

Daniel Handler trending quotes. Read the latest quotes in collection
Daniel Handler: 380 quotes9 likes

“What a bad day it was, the clouds were low and cloudy, the rain no fun, and the dark as it hit the late afternoon thick like someone who stops by your place and just won't leave. The day was canceled, almost, on account of the rain spilling itself over everything.”

Daniel Handler book Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Frigidly

“With the Baudelaire orphans, it was as if their grief were a very heavy object that they each took turns carrying so that they would not all be crying at once, but sometimes the object was too heavy for one of them to move without weeping, so Violet and Sunny stood next to Klaus, reminding him that this was something they could all carry together until at last they found a safe place to lay it down.”

Daniel Handler book The Carnivorous Carnival

Lemony Snicket
The Carnivorous Carnival (2002)

“"Help me," Allison says, but she is soft-spoken, and everyone she loves is so far away.”

Daniel Handler book Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Often

“If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don't. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives.”

Daniel Handler book The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

“The last safe place is safe no more.”

Daniel Handler book The Penultimate Peril

Sunny
The Penultimate Peril (2005)

“There are many things in this world I do not know. I do not know how butterflies get out of their cocoons without damaging their wings. I do not know why anyone would boil vegetables when roasting them is much tastier. I do not know how to make olive oil, and I do not know why dogs bark before an earthquake, and I do not know why some people voluntarily choose to climb mountains where it is freezing and difficult to breathe, or live in the suburbs, where the coffee is watery and all of the houses look alike.”

Daniel Handler book The Hostile Hospital

Lemony Snicket
The Hostile Hospital (2001)

“Lemony Snicket: (narrating) But the three siblings were not born yesterday. Violet was born more than fifteen years before this particular Wednesday, and Klaus was born approximately two years after that, and even Sunny, who had just passed out of babyhood, was not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.”

Daniel Handler book The Penultimate Peril

The Penultimate Peril (2005)

“The rain, the rain, the rain. You can't even hear it outside the window but still it's a sad thing. Rain, the grade school teachers say, makes the trees and flowers grow, but we're not trees and flower, and so many grade school teachers are single.”

Daniel Handler book Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Frigidly

“Like all fairy tales, the story of Sleeping Beauty begins with "Once upon a time," and continues with a foolish young princess who makes a witch very angry, and then takes a nap until her boyfriend wakes her up with a kiss and insists on getting married, at which point the story ends with the phrase "happily ever after."”

Daniel Handler book The Hostile Hospital

Lemony Snicket
The Hostile Hospital (2001)

“I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table.”

Daniel Handler book The Beatrice Letters

The Beatrice Letters (2006)

“I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture.”

Daniel Handler book The Beatrice Letters

The Beatrice Letters (2006)

“Money money money money money money money money money. Let no one say it has no place in a love story. It has a particular place. It is something on the right shelf.”

Daniel Handler book Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Arguably

“Adam hates Tomas and tried to get Eddie to join him in hate. It hasn't worked, although Eddie will admit certain shortcomings, and the two men have not met until now, in the forest, when Adam has decided that Tomas in Eddie's stories and the Tomas in this story are the same man.”

Daniel Handler book Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Clearly

“I didn't realize this was a sad occasion. — Waiter at The Anxious Clown Restaurant”

Daniel Handler

Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (2002)

“Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps. -Lemony Snicket”

Daniel Handler book The Wide Window

The Wide Window (2000)

“Violet said…"We've never known anyone who could remain so cheerful, no matter what terrible things occurred.”

Daniel Handler book The Grim Grotto

The Grim Grotto (2004)

“It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and writing the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other book.”

Daniel Handler book The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

“Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it might be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it. -Lemony Snicket”

Daniel Handler book The Wide Window

The Wide Window (2000)

“Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of ‘systematically assisting Sisyphus’s stealthy, syst-susceptible sister,’ which is easier done than said.”

Daniel Handler book The Vile Village

Lemony Snicket
The Vile Village (2001)

“I'm not - the terrific guy you keep telling me about. I'm not made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm made of rats and snails and puppy-dogs tails. I lie sometimes. I have broken people's hearts. I'm looking for love, I'll admit that, but now that it's here in abundance, I'm afraid of commitment and I want you, please, to leave me.”

Daniel Handler book Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Collectively