Christopher Moore: Trending quotes (page 6)

“Praying is talking to God. Meditating is listening.”

“Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose.”

“I fear you may become a lonely man, even in the company of others.”

“Inside, I was like: "Ha, suck my spiky rubber strap-on, vampyre hunter!”

“Like God's own chocolate, I'd lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk”

“You're going to break my heart, aren't you?”

“Unless you can change the past, you’re wasting the present on this guilt”

“Yo, yo, yo, check it out," said PJ, with enough hand gestures that any deaf person watching would have thought he had ASL Tourette's syndrome”

“Compliment but do not covet.”

“Fornication with your daughters thats like a double dog sin.”

“You should feel what it is like to pleasure a falcon. You lock talons with her in the sky and do it while you both are falling like meteors. You would like it; they never complain if you come too fast.”

“Tension among a bunch of neurotics is just more interesting for a story than is a description of dedicated professionals doing their work and getting along, which is the case in reality. When in doubt, assume I made it up.”

“I fink I gots deaf on me willie.”

“When the oil of the lamp is used up the wanker shall light his own way to salvation.”

“Mary: You can read?
Pocket: I was raised in a nunnery, wench. I'm a walking library of learning bound in comely leather, suitable for stroking at your service, should you fancy a bit of culture to go with your lack of breeding…or vice verse of course.”

“And so that is the story of how St. Rufus of Pipewrench was licked to death by marmots.”

“The Ghost: I'm sorry to haunt you while you're rogering the help.
Pocket: The rogering has not commenced, wisp. I have barely bridled the horse for a moist and bawdy ride. Now, go away!”

“Regardless of its purpose, the humpback-whale song is the most complex piece of nonhuman composition on earth. Whether it's art, prayer, or booty call, the humpback song is an amazing thing to experience firsthand, and I suspect that even once the science of it is put to bed, it will remain, as long as they sing, magic.”

“Moses should have said "Let my people go. Please."”