Christopher Moore: Trending quotes

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Christopher Moore: 268 quotes0 likes

“Do we still have to floss?" Tommy asked. "I mean, what's the point of being immortal if we have to floss?”

Christopher Moore

Source: You Suck

“Words, words, words, a million million words circle in my head like hawks, waiting to dive onto the page to rend and tear the only two words I want to write.

Why me?”

Christopher Moore book Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Source: Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

“Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers?
Mrs. Ling: Could be…. You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants.”

Christopher Moore book A Dirty Job

Source: A Dirty Job

“Well they're pissed off and they're hungry. I was kind of busy trying not to get my brains eaten. They seemed pretty adamant about the brain-eating thing. Then they're going to IKEA, I guess”

Christopher Moore

Source: The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror

“All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?”

Christopher Moore

Source: Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

“You want me and I want you. right?"
Who did she think she was? You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a prophet with Tourette's Syndrome. He said, "Well, I guess. Yeah, that's right.”

Christopher Moore book Coyote Blue

Source: Coyote Blue

“Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the room, then gone with the light.”

Christopher Moore book A Dirty Job

Source: A Dirty Job

“Adeline had come to Christianity the same way she had come to sex and smoking:through peer pressure. Thinking about her six kids and her smoker's hack, she wondered if perhaps peer pressure didn't always lead to the best habits.”

Christopher Moore book Coyote Blue

Source: Coyote Blue

“… And so Charlie Asher… led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from knitting needles to a spork, into the storm sewers of San Fransciso.”

Christopher Moore book A Dirty Job

Source: A Dirty Job

“If you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them. The key — and this is very relevant in our case — is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own.”

Christopher Moore

Source: The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror

“We know there's going to be nothing but pain, but we go back again and again.”

Christopher Moore

Source: The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror

“Will there be heinous fuckery, Pocket?”

Christopher Moore book Fool

Source: Fool

“That's a horrible plan."
"Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.”

Christopher Moore

Source: Sacré Bleu: A Comedy d'Art

“All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.”

Christopher Moore book Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Source: Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

“Wet towel under the door,' said Barry. 'It's what you do when you're smoking weed in a hotel and you don't want everyone calling security. You're always supposed to have a towel. I read about it in a guide for hitchhiking through the galaxy.”

Christopher Moore

Source: Bite Me

“The Angel Gabriel disappeared once for sixty years and they found him on earth hiding in the body of a man named Miles Davis.”

Christopher Moore book Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Source: Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

“Kayso, it turns out that driving an actual car is way harder than it is in 'Grand Theft Auto: Zombie Hooker Smackdown.”

Christopher Moore

Source: Bite Me