Chelsea Handler: Friend

Chelsea Handler is American comedian, actress, author and talk show host. Explore interesting quotes on friend.
Chelsea Handler: 70 quotes0 likes

“I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his face. I didn't say that out loud, of course. I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.”

Chelsea Handler

Source: My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands (2005)

“Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a lot of friends like that, and I think it's because it makes me look 'more together.”

Chelsea Handler

Source: My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.”

Chelsea Handler

Source: My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“Lydia was the kind of friend whom people referred to as a 'party favor' -- always fun to be around but she doesn't have any patience for suffering unless it's her own.”

Chelsea Handler

Source: My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“Most men would never tell a girl her Pikachu smells like a crab cake. It's just not done. But they would have no qualms about telling their guy friends. Similarly, if you're a guy and you pull your pants down, and the girl you're with immediately starts text messaging her friends, you have a small penis.”

Chelsea Handler

Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea (2008)