Brené Brown: Shame

“For me, vulnerability led to anxiety, which led to shame, which led to disconnection, which led to Bud Light.”

Brené Brown

Source: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Light

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.”

Brené Brown

Source: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Understanding

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”

Brené Brown

Source: I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame

Change , Parting

“When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose.”

Brené Brown

Source: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Fear , Feeling , Sense

“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”

Brené Brown

Source: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Pain , Feeling , Perfection

“If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm.”

Brené Brown

Source: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Personality , Flying

“Shame works like the zoom lens on a camera. When we are feeling shame, the camera is zoomed in tight and all we see is our flawed selves, alone and struggling.(page 68)”

Brené Brown

Source: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Feeling

“Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.”

Brené Brown

Source: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

“You cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors.”

Brené Brown

People , Behavior , Change

“We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can't use shame to change ourselves or others.”

Brené Brown

Source: I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame

Change

“Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it- it can't survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes.”

Brené Brown

Source: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Love , Hate

“It’s always helpful to remember that when perfectionism is driving, shame is riding shotgun.”

Brené Brown

Source: Rising Strong

Help

“Perfectionism is a shield that we carry with a thought process that says this, 'If I look perfect, live perfect, work perfect, and do it all perfectly, I can avoid or minimize feeling shame, blame, and judgement.”

Brené Brown

Feeling , Perfection

“Shame resilience is the ability to say, “This hurts. This is disappointing, maybe even devastating. But success and recognition and approval are not the values that drive me. My value is courage and I was just courageous. You can move on, shame.”

Brené Brown

Source: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Disappointment , Courage , Success , Hurt

“Shame hates to have words wrapped around it. If we talk about it, it loses its grip on us.”

Brené Brown

University of Houston, Pride Stories http://www.uh.edu/pride-stories/Brene-Brown/Brene-Brown-Story%20/index.php

Hate

“The thing that I have learned is that vulnerability is at the center of fear and shame, but it is also at the center of joy and gratitude and love and belonging…If we continue to wake up every day and put our game faces on and think that invulnerability is the way to be … then we pay the price, because I don't know that we would ever fully experience joy and love and belonging.”

Brené Brown

University of Houston, Pride Stories http://www.uh.edu/pride-stories/Brene-Brown/Brene-Brown-Story%20/index.php

Love , Fear , Way , Game