Bill Watterson: Trending quotes

“I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”

“I say, if your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.”

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”

“You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!”

“Calvin: In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
p58”

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”

“It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.”

“Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak?.
Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
p.171”

“Calvin: You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help.
p33”

“I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”

“You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
What mood is that?
Last-minute panic.”

“I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.”

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”

“Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?”

“Calvin: As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.
p25”

“I'm a misunderstood genius."
"What's misunderstood?"
"Nobody thinks I'm a genius.”

“We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.”

“Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?”