Bill Allred: Trending quotes

“Thanks, Tonto, for your help.”

“Being in love means never having to say 'giddy-up.”

“They're 'fun bags' not 'feed bags!”

“Hey, Dad, I'm going to reassemble this magpie carcass.”

“I'm not a bottom poker and I never have been.”

“I always thought Steve Guttenberg had crabs.”

“You clutched my personal hair and ripped it out by the roots.”

“Jesus is a place-kicker and he's gonna kick you through the goal-posts of life.”

“We'll have peanut butter crackers and juice and use the bidet!”

“I used to wear food briefs. They were crumby.”

“What do you mean I can’t sleep with this hooker in the basement?”

“I always say, "Don't let your meat loaf."”

“You treat your food like a scab.”

“They might have been all up in your pregnancy!”

“You’re large but not in charge.”

“I can't run naked; I'm always tripping.”

“I don't believe the government has a knobby.”

“I'm telling you, if there were balls to be held, I held them.”

“The 'jugastuff' had a baby this spring.”