Amy Sedaris Quotes

“My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.”

“I’ve named everything that I’ve ever owned. Real or inanimate, I have to give it a first and last name. Everything in my apartment comes alive at night.”

“Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.”

“I'm drawn to people who look different. I'm not exploiting. I'm not making fun of them. I'm drawn to them.”

“Accentuaute the positives - medicate the negatives.”

“Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.”

“Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.”

“I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.”

“On the off chance that you have children, don't clean up at all. As children, my brother and sister and I loved waking up early and playing cocktail party with the leftover debris”