Quotes from book

The Sword of Summer

“Wrongly chosen, wrongly slain, A hero Valhalla cannot contain. Nine days hence the sun must go east, Ere Sword of Summer unbinds the beast.”

“Because Anno Domini, in the Year of Our Lord, is fine for Christians, but Thor gets a little upset. He still holds a grudge that Jesus never showed up for that duel he challenged him to.” “Say what now?”

“The thing about talking swords…it’s hard to tell when they’re kidding. They have no facial expressions. Or faces.”

“I TOLD MY NEW FRIENDS I was allergic to dismemberment. They just laughed and herded me toward the combat arena. This is why I don’t like making new friends.”

“Let’s see, today is Thor’s Day the sixteenth.” “You mean Thursday?” “That’s what I said. The island will rise on the full moon six days from now, on the twenty-second, which is Woden’s Day.” “Wednesday?” I asked. “That’s what I said.”

“like the children of Thor? At least their dad had a movie franchise.”

“I don't see that we have much choice," I said, "since we don't have anyone who can grow wings."
"I will push you off this mountain," Sam warned.
"All right," Blitzen decided, "let's try it. I mean the rune, not pushing Magnus off the mountain.”

“It was an annoying name to have. People tended to spell in Mangus, rhymes with Angus. I always corrected them:At which point they would stare at me blankly.”

“I call it Andskoti, the Adversary. It is woven with the most powerful paradoxes in the Nine Worlds—Wi-Fi with no lag, a politician’s sincerity, a printer that prints, healthy deep-fried food, and an interesting grammar lecture!”

“WHEN SOMEONE SAYS, It’s the Squirrel, you don’t ask questions.”

“I gave the dwarves an arrogant look, like, Yeah, that’s right. I’ve got a talking disco sword and you don’t.”

“I’M PRETTY GOOD at multitasking, so I figured I could flee in terror and argue at the same time.”

“Not that my regularly scheduled life was so great, but it beat getting judged unworthy by twelve bearded guys named Erik.”

“Hearthstone Passes Out Even More than Jason Grace (Though I Have No Idea Who That Is)”

“Blades before babes, you know what I’m saying?”

“They’re not dead,” I told the goat. “They both have pulses.” “Oh.” The goat sighed. “Well, give them a few more hours and they’ll probably be dead.” “What is wrong with you?” “Everything,” said the goat.”

“He likes to be noticed. He’s not exactly low-key.” “I get it,” I said. “Loki. Low-key.”

“I smiled. "So this horse is your nephew, Sam?"
She glared at me. "Let's not go there."
"How did your dad father a horse?"
Blitzen coughed. "Actually, Loki was Sleipnir's mother."
"What--?"
"Let'snot go there," Sam warned.”

“The thing about fate, Magnus: even if we can't change the big picture, our choices can alter the details. That's how we rebel against destiny, how we make our mark. What will you choose to do?”