Quotes from work
The Importance of Being Earnest

Oscar WildeOriginal title The Importance of Being Earnest (Russian)

The Importance of Being Earnest, A Trivial Comedy for Serious People is a play by Oscar Wilde. First performed on 14 February 1895 at the St James's Theatre in London, it is a farcical comedy in which the protagonists maintain fictitious personæ to escape burdensome social obligations. Working within the social conventions of late Victorian London, the play's major themes are the triviality with which it treats institutions as serious as marriage, and the resulting satire of Victorian ways. Some contemporary reviews praised the play's humour and the culmination of Wilde's artistic career, while others were cautious about its lack of social messages. Its high farce and witty dialogue have helped make The Importance of Being Earnest Wilde's most enduringly popular play.

“Oh, don't cough, Ernest. When one is dictating one should speak fluently and not cough. Besides, I don't know how to spell a cough.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Source: The Importance of Being Earnest

“Hesitation of any kind is a sign of mental decay in the young, of physical weakness in the old.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Source: The Importance of Being Earnest

“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Gwendolen, Act II
Source: The Importance of Being Earnest (1895)

“I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Source: The Importance of Being Earnest

“I don't play accurately--any one can play accurately--but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the piano is concerned, sentiment is my forte. I keep science for Life.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Source: The Importance of Being Earnest

“The number of women in London who flirt with their own husbands is perfectly scandalous. It looks so bad. It is simply washing one’s clean linen in public.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Algernon, Act I
Source: The Importance of Being Earnest (1895)

“I've now realized for the first time in my life the vital Importance of Being Earnest.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Jack, Act III
Source: The Importance of Being Earnest (1895)

“The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her if she is pretty and to someone else if she is plain.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Algernon, Act I
Source: The Importance of Being Earnest (1895)

“Well, I can't eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs. One must eat muffins quite calmly, it is the only way to eat them.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Algernon, Act II
Source: The Importance of Being Earnest (1895)

“Do you smoke?

Well, yes, I must admit I smoke.

I'm glad to hear of it. A man should always have an occupation of some kind.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Source: The Importance of Being Earnest

“Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Source: The Importance of Being Earnest

“I love hearing my relations abused. It is the only thing that makes me put up with them at all. Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live nor the smallest instinct about when to die.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Source: The Importance of Being Earnest

“When one is in town one amuses oneself. When one is in the country one amuses other people. It is excessively boring.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Source: The Importance of Being Earnest

“I have never met any really wicked person before. I feel rather frightened. I am so afraid he will look just like every one else.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Source: The Importance of Being Earnest

“If one plays good music, people don't listen, and if one plays bad music people don't talk.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Algernon, Act I.
Source: The Importance of Being Earnest (1895)
Context: Of course the music is a great difficulty. You see, if one plays good music, people don't listen, and if one plays bad music people don't talk.

“I know. In fact, I am never wrong.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Source: The Importance of Being Earnest

“Now produce your explanation and pray make it improbable.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Source: The Importance of Being Earnest

“To be born, or at any rate bred, in a hand-bag, whether it had handles or not, seems to me to display a contempt for the ordinary decencies of family life that reminds one of the worst excesses of the French Revolution.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Source: The Importance of Being Earnest

“I hope, Cecily, I shall not offend you if I state quite frankly and openly that you seem to me to be in every way the visible personification of absolute perfection.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Variant: Would you be in any way offended if I said that you seem to me to be in every way the visible personification of absolute perfection?
Source: The Importance of Being Earnest

“ever since I met you I have admired you more than any girl… I have ever met since… I met you.”

Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Source: The Importance of Being Earnest