Quotes from book
Parliament of Whores

Parliament of Whores
P. J. O'Rourke

Parliament of Whores is an international best-selling political humor book by P. J. O'Rourke published by Atlantic Monthly Press in 1991. Subtitled "A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire US Government", Parliament is a scathing critique of the American system of governance from a conservative perspective. The hard cover version was a #1 New York Times bestseller, sold over 150,000 copies in its first two months of release, and earned over $1 million in revenue in the same time period. Parliament reached the top 5 on Canadian best seller lists. The paperback release in 1992 was a similar commercial success.

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“The collegiate idealists who fill the ranks of the environmental movement seem willing to do absolutely anything to save the biosphere, except take science courses and learn something about it.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Parliament of Whores

Source: Parliament of Whores (1991), p. 198

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“Daniel Patrick Moynihan is the archetypal extremely smart person who went into politics anyway instead of doing something worthwhile for his country. So maybe he owes all of us an apology…”

P. J. O'Rourke book Parliament of Whores

Parliament of Whores (1991)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“Marilyn Quayle was there, too, looking – it was indeed a strange week in Washington – great. She had her hair done up in something my wife said was a chignon, and whatever it was, it made Marilyn look considerably less like a Cape buffalo than usual. Though actually I admired the Cape buffalo look. I have an idea that – like a Cape buffalo – if Marilyn Quayle gets furious and charges, you've got only one shot at the skull. You wouldn't want to just wound her.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Parliament of Whores

Parliament of Whores (1991)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and prove it.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Parliament of Whores

Parliament of Whores (1991)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history mankind has been bullied by scum.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Parliament of Whores

Parliament of Whores (1991)
Context: Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history mankind has been bullied by scum. Those who lord it over their fellows and toss commands in every direction and would boss the grass in the meadows about which way to bend in the wind are the most depraved kind of prostitutes. They will submit to any indignity, perform any vile act, do anything to achieve power. The worst off-sloughings of the planet are the ingredients of sovereignty. Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“There’s a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Parliament of Whores

Source: Parliament of Whores (1991), p. 194

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“Imagine if all of life were determined by majority rule. Every meal would be a pizza. Every pair of pants, even those in a Brooks Brothers suit, would be stone-washed denim. Celebrity diet and exercise books would be the only thing on the shelves at the library. And — since women are a majority of the population — we'd all be married to Mel Gibson.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Parliament of Whores

Parliament of Whores (1991)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“Many reporters, when they go to work in the nation’s capital, begin thinking of themselves as participants in the political process instead of glorified stenographers.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Parliament of Whores

Parliament of Whores (1991)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Parliament of Whores

Parliament of Whores (1991)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Parliament of Whores

Source: Parliament of Whores (1991), pp. xviii-xix.

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Parliament of Whores

Source: Parliament of Whores (1991), p. 14

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“The American political system is like a gigantic Mexican Christmas fiesta. Each political party is a huge piñata — a papier-mâché donkey, for example. The donkey is filled with full employment, low interest rates, affordable housing, comprehensive medical benefits, a balanced budget and other goodies. The American voter is blindfolded and given a stick. The voter then swings the stick wildly in every direction, trying to hit a political candidate on the head and knock some sense into the silly bastard.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Parliament of Whores

Parliament of Whores (1991)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“There are twenty-seven specific complaints against the British Crown set forth in the Declaration of Independence. To modern ears they still sound reasonable, in large part, because so many of them can be leveled against the federal government of the United States.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Parliament of Whores

Parliament of Whores (1991)

Similar authors

P. J. O'Rourke photo
P. J. O'Rourke 185
American journalist 1947
Helen Rowland photo
Helen Rowland 13
American journalist
Christopher Morley photo
Christopher Morley 30
American journalist, novelist, essayist and poet
H.L. Mencken photo
H.L. Mencken 281
American journalist and writer
Hunter S. Thompson photo
Hunter S. Thompson 268
American journalist and author
Ernest Hemingway photo
Ernest Hemingway 501
American author and journalist
Jack London photo
Jack London 77
American author, journalist, and social activist
Mario Benedetti photo
Mario Benedetti 4
Uruguayan journalist, novelist, and poet
Olavo de Carvalho photo
Olavo de Carvalho 6
Brazilian journalist, essayist and professor of philosophy
Italo Calvino photo
Italo Calvino 44
Italian journalist and writer of short stories and novels